November 2

     Every town I have ever visited has a set of norms that the locals don’t think twice about, often it takes an outsider to point them out before they are even noticed. For instance, if you were to ask me what cultural tick everyone from Redding, my hometown, shares I wouldn’t have any idea how to answer. It’s too ingrained, whatever that tick is I don’t even see it. Sometimes those cultural idiosyncrasies become so big, and the towns so influential, that they take on a life of their own. Seattle has, what is probably one of the most famous social ticks in the entire country; the Seattle Freeze.

    If you ask one of the locals, or more accurately one of the transplants, why people in Seattle are so distant you would probably get some answer having to do with Norski passive-aggressive tendencies and general Cascadian social awkwardness. However, if you take the time and watch the people of Seattle you will see that they are warm, generous people who have learned through a century of experience that caution is the better part of valor.

Learn as you go:

    When Steven and Rebecca Adams came to Seattle it was in the middle of a vibrantly green summer, the kind of summer the locals don’t talk about lest they have to share it. Their quiet neighborhood curved up one of the many hills that made it feel so homelike for the many Scandinavian immigrants that made their homes here.

  

    Rebecca stood on her porch, cold lemonade in one hand, and watched as her neighbors walked past their moving truck without so much as a nod or “how do you do?” She wasn’t really sure how to take that, in the town they had lived in before a moving truck would have brought neighbors weighed down with drinks and baked goods, but here even if she did wave and shout a greeting the most she got was a courteous wave back as the neighbors continued about their business. 

“Steve, are we going to be ok here? Back home we had friends, and cookouts, heck Darcy helped me unpack our kitchen before she even introduced herself.”

“Becca, it’s the big city, people here have a lot more going on. I am sure if we just bring a little California sunniness they will open up in time. Besides this place gets pretty dreary in the winter they are probably just trying to suck up all the sun before it disappears.” Steve laughed as he hugged her close. 

He had moved her up here after getting a job with the health network, his uncle Brandon had suggested the move after the Miller Clinic had had to close. He was excited about the opportunity, but the cold reception was casting clouds over his moment. He squeezed his wife tight and breathed deeply of the last rays of California sun that clung to her golden hair. 

Seasons can change rather quickly in Seattle, and sometimes the seasons will change two or three times in one day, it was about three months later that Steven learned just how fickle the weather was.

“...looks like we’ve got a fantastic September day in store for all you Seattle folks today…” the radio intoned as Steven and Rebecca ate their breakfast.

“Sweetheart I think we ought to get a dog, don’t you?” Becca asked over her coffee.

“A dog? Are you sure? I am still really busy at the office and won’t really have time to help with it until later in the year.” His deflection came on the heels of a sigh heavy with repetition.

“I know but you are gone all day and I still haven’t really had the chance to make friends with any of the neighbors, it might be nice to have another person in the house.” She looked up to see his eye cocked at her turn of phrase, “oh you know what I mean, it would be nice to have something to spend my time with.”

“What about a cat? You loved your cat.”

“Steven. I spend all day being ignored by Jeannie, Carol, and every other neighbor we have, the last thing I need is something in my own home ignoring me.” Every word she spoke was heavy with unspent tears of frustration and loneliness. The look in her eyes spoke of a summer spent surrounded by emerald forests, crystalline waters, and under blue leopardine skies, but beauty not shared with friends nor accompanied with laughter is hollow and faded. 

“Alright my heart, we will go and look at dogs this afternoon, they won’t miss me for one evening so I should be able to get away.” He leaned over and gently kissed her forehead. With that, he headed out the door.

He had gone only a few blocks when the daylight dimmed as the sun ducked behind a suddenly sodden cloud. Soon rain like ocean spray appeared on his windshield,

“So much for that fantastic September day…” he scolded the smug car stereo. “I didn’t even bring my umbrella!” 

As he drove the rain would ebb and flow, seeming to mock his mood. Sometimes there would be no rain just a wet sheen on the air, and other times drops would defy gravity and seem to fly directly at his windows, and yet when he pulled into the parking lot at work the only evidence of rain was a singular puddle that he promptly stepped in.

“Goddammit, what is wrong with this city!” he snapped to no one in particular.

“Nothin wrong with the city, you just haven’t learned it yet.” with a 40 wat smile and a hardscrabble face stood one of the nameless throng, one of Seattle’s unseen but ever-present citizens. 

“I don’t have anything for you…” Steve started.

“It’s always the same with you new people, you move in and expect to just fit. You think we ought to come to you, to welcome you, to accept you. Idiots, all of you.” he was interrupted, “you don’t have nothin for me, but I have somethin for you.” The man tucked his hands into a suspiciously dry pea coat, “This city has its own rules, its own way of doing things. If you don’t figure out some of it she ain’t gonna keep you.”

“I really don’t have time for this right now, I have to get to work…” Was stevens retort, but the man had already turned and was sauntering down the street.

Stevens day went on without a hitch, well without any new hitches. His jokes about “schizo weather” fell on humorless ears, his complaints about the homeless were met with knowing and somehow pitying looks. In fact, the only other moment of note came at the end of his last meeting.

“Will you look at that, hey Jim do you have an extra umbrella?” Steve asked as he watched rain attack the windows with the ferocity of cops at a traffic stop.

“An umbrella? What for?”

“Look at it out there? I am likely to drown on my way to my car, and I am supposed to take Becca out to look for a puppy. She hates getting rained on.”

“Oh, Sorry there Steve, I don’t own an umbrella, it’s just a little rain.” Concern layered with that icy distance suffused Jim’s tone.

“You know where I can get one?” Ignorant of the attitude shift, Steven Adams pressed on.

“You might find one at the Hotel down the street, they usually have things for tourists…” Jim tossed over his shoulder as he left the conference room.

Sure enough, the concierge had an umbrella for Steve, and when Steve offered to pay for it the man smiled and bid him enjoy his visit.

Things changed slowly for the Adams family, their new puppy brought a reprieve from the silence and even broke the ice with the neighbors…

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It turns out that dogs are a universal ice breaker, whether your neighbor loves dogs or hates them, I guarantee your dog is spreading your reputation in your community.

We will catch back up with the Adams family tomorrow, but for tonight I will leave you to ponder the best advice I ever received on moving to a new city.

“Go and stand in the river, share a beer with her, she will tell you how best to make a home in her city.”